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							- July 2006
 
- When I was in high school I spent a lot of time imitating bad
 
- writers.  What we studied in English classes was mostly fiction,
 
- so I assumed that was the highest form of writing.  Mistake number
 
- one.  The stories that seemed to be most admired were ones in which
 
- people suffered in complicated ways.  Anything funny or
 
- gripping was ipso facto suspect, unless it was old enough to be hard to
 
- understand, like Shakespeare or Chaucer.  Mistake number two.  The
 
- ideal medium seemed the short story, which I've since learned had
 
- quite a brief life, roughly coincident with the peak of magazine
 
- publishing.  But since their size made them perfect for use in
 
- high school classes, we read a lot of them, which gave us the
 
- impression the short story was flourishing.  Mistake number three.
 
- And because they were so short, nothing really had to happen; you
 
- could just show a randomly truncated slice of life, and that was
 
- considered advanced.  Mistake number four.  The result was that I
 
- wrote a lot of stories in which nothing happened except that someone
 
- was unhappy in a way that seemed deep.For most of college I was a philosophy major.  I was very impressed
 
- by the papers published in philosophy journals.  They were so
 
- beautifully typeset, and their tone was just captivating—alternately
 
- casual and buffer-overflowingly technical.  A fellow would be walking
 
- along a street and suddenly modality qua modality would spring upon
 
- him.  I didn't ever quite understand these papers, but I figured
 
- I'd get around to that later, when I had time to reread them more
 
- closely.  In the meantime I tried my best to imitate them.  This
 
- was, I can now see, a doomed undertaking, because they weren't
 
- really saying anything.  No philosopher ever refuted another, for
 
- example, because no one said anything definite enough to refute.
 
- Needless to say, my imitations didn't say anything either.In grad school I was still wasting time imitating the wrong things.
 
- There was then a fashionable type of program called an expert system,
 
- at the core of which was something called an inference engine.  I
 
- looked at what these things did and thought "I could write that in
 
- a thousand lines of code."  And yet eminent professors were writing
 
- books about them, and startups were selling them for a year's salary
 
- a copy.  What an opportunity, I thought; these impressive things
 
- seem easy to me; I must be pretty sharp.  Wrong.  It was simply a
 
- fad.  The books the professors wrote about expert systems are now
 
- ignored.  They were not even on a path to anything interesting.
 
- And the customers paying so much for them were largely the same
 
- government agencies that paid thousands for screwdrivers and toilet
 
- seats.How do you avoid copying the wrong things?  Copy only what you
 
- genuinely like.  That would have saved me in all three cases.  I
 
- didn't enjoy the short stories we had to read in English classes;
 
- I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't use expert
 
- systems myself.  I believed these things were good because they
 
- were admired.It can be hard to separate the things you like from the things
 
- you're impressed with.  One trick is to ignore presentation.  Whenever
 
- I see a painting impressively hung in a museum, I ask myself: how
 
- much would I pay for this if I found it at a garage sale, dirty and
 
- frameless, and with no idea who painted it?  If you walk around a
 
- museum trying this experiment, you'll find you get some truly
 
- startling results.  Don't ignore this data point just because it's
 
- an outlier.Another way to figure out what you like is to look at what you enjoy
 
- as guilty pleasures.  Many things people like, especially if they're
 
- young and ambitious, they like largely for the feeling of virtue
 
- in liking them.  99% of people reading Ulysses are thinking
 
- "I'm reading Ulysses" as they do it. A guilty pleasure is
 
- at least a pure one.  What do you read when you don't feel up to being
 
- virtuous?  What kind of book do you read and feel sad that there's
 
- only half of it left, instead of being impressed that you're half
 
- way through?  That's what you really like.Even when you find genuinely good things to copy, there's another
 
- pitfall to be avoided.  Be careful to copy what makes them good,
 
- rather than their flaws.  It's easy to be drawn into imitating
 
- flaws, because they're easier to see, and of course easier to copy
 
- too.  For example, most painters in the eighteenth and nineteenth
 
- centuries used brownish colors.  They were imitating the great
 
- painters of the Renaissance, whose paintings by that time were brown
 
- with dirt.  Those paintings have since been cleaned, revealing
 
- brilliant colors; their imitators are of course still brown.It was painting, incidentally, that cured me of copying the wrong
 
- things.  Halfway through grad school I decided I wanted to try being
 
- a painter, and the art world was so manifestly corrupt that it
 
- snapped the leash of credulity.  These people made philosophy
 
- professors seem as scrupulous as mathematicians.  It was so clearly
 
- a choice of doing good work xor being an insider that I was forced
 
- to see the distinction.  It's there to some degree in almost every
 
- field, but I had till then managed to avoid facing it.That was one of the most valuable things I learned from painting:
 
- you have to figure out for yourself what's 
 
- good.  You can't trust
 
- authorities. They'll lie to you on this one.
 
- Comment on this essay.
 
 
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