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- July 2006
- When I was in high school I spent a lot of time imitating bad
- writers. What we studied in English classes was mostly fiction,
- so I assumed that was the highest form of writing. Mistake number
- one. The stories that seemed to be most admired were ones in which
- people suffered in complicated ways. Anything funny or
- gripping was ipso facto suspect, unless it was old enough to be hard to
- understand, like Shakespeare or Chaucer. Mistake number two. The
- ideal medium seemed the short story, which I've since learned had
- quite a brief life, roughly coincident with the peak of magazine
- publishing. But since their size made them perfect for use in
- high school classes, we read a lot of them, which gave us the
- impression the short story was flourishing. Mistake number three.
- And because they were so short, nothing really had to happen; you
- could just show a randomly truncated slice of life, and that was
- considered advanced. Mistake number four. The result was that I
- wrote a lot of stories in which nothing happened except that someone
- was unhappy in a way that seemed deep.For most of college I was a philosophy major. I was very impressed
- by the papers published in philosophy journals. They were so
- beautifully typeset, and their tone was just captivating—alternately
- casual and buffer-overflowingly technical. A fellow would be walking
- along a street and suddenly modality qua modality would spring upon
- him. I didn't ever quite understand these papers, but I figured
- I'd get around to that later, when I had time to reread them more
- closely. In the meantime I tried my best to imitate them. This
- was, I can now see, a doomed undertaking, because they weren't
- really saying anything. No philosopher ever refuted another, for
- example, because no one said anything definite enough to refute.
- Needless to say, my imitations didn't say anything either.In grad school I was still wasting time imitating the wrong things.
- There was then a fashionable type of program called an expert system,
- at the core of which was something called an inference engine. I
- looked at what these things did and thought "I could write that in
- a thousand lines of code." And yet eminent professors were writing
- books about them, and startups were selling them for a year's salary
- a copy. What an opportunity, I thought; these impressive things
- seem easy to me; I must be pretty sharp. Wrong. It was simply a
- fad. The books the professors wrote about expert systems are now
- ignored. They were not even on a path to anything interesting.
- And the customers paying so much for them were largely the same
- government agencies that paid thousands for screwdrivers and toilet
- seats.How do you avoid copying the wrong things? Copy only what you
- genuinely like. That would have saved me in all three cases. I
- didn't enjoy the short stories we had to read in English classes;
- I didn't learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn't use expert
- systems myself. I believed these things were good because they
- were admired.It can be hard to separate the things you like from the things
- you're impressed with. One trick is to ignore presentation. Whenever
- I see a painting impressively hung in a museum, I ask myself: how
- much would I pay for this if I found it at a garage sale, dirty and
- frameless, and with no idea who painted it? If you walk around a
- museum trying this experiment, you'll find you get some truly
- startling results. Don't ignore this data point just because it's
- an outlier.Another way to figure out what you like is to look at what you enjoy
- as guilty pleasures. Many things people like, especially if they're
- young and ambitious, they like largely for the feeling of virtue
- in liking them. 99% of people reading Ulysses are thinking
- "I'm reading Ulysses" as they do it. A guilty pleasure is
- at least a pure one. What do you read when you don't feel up to being
- virtuous? What kind of book do you read and feel sad that there's
- only half of it left, instead of being impressed that you're half
- way through? That's what you really like.Even when you find genuinely good things to copy, there's another
- pitfall to be avoided. Be careful to copy what makes them good,
- rather than their flaws. It's easy to be drawn into imitating
- flaws, because they're easier to see, and of course easier to copy
- too. For example, most painters in the eighteenth and nineteenth
- centuries used brownish colors. They were imitating the great
- painters of the Renaissance, whose paintings by that time were brown
- with dirt. Those paintings have since been cleaned, revealing
- brilliant colors; their imitators are of course still brown.It was painting, incidentally, that cured me of copying the wrong
- things. Halfway through grad school I decided I wanted to try being
- a painter, and the art world was so manifestly corrupt that it
- snapped the leash of credulity. These people made philosophy
- professors seem as scrupulous as mathematicians. It was so clearly
- a choice of doing good work xor being an insider that I was forced
- to see the distinction. It's there to some degree in almost every
- field, but I had till then managed to avoid facing it.That was one of the most valuable things I learned from painting:
- you have to figure out for yourself what's
- good. You can't trust
- authorities. They'll lie to you on this one.
- Comment on this essay.
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